Reimagining the Holidays with Bill Hulseman and His Book six to carry the casket and one to say the mass
For many, the holiday season stirs up more than just festive cheer. It’s a time when memories, grief, and identity intersect, often in unexpected ways. Author and ritual designer Bill Hulseman returns to discuss just that, through the lens of his reflective and emotionally resonant book, six to carry the casket and one to say the mass.
In this intimate conversation, Bill shares stories behind two of his essays: Grateful and How to Put Up a Christmas Tree. These pieces explore Thanksgiving and Christmas from angles rarely seen—moments where joy, pain, and self-discovery coexist. Bill opens up about how childhood holidays often left him feeling ornamental and out of place in his large Irish Catholic family. Yet through ritual and reflection, he has found ways to create meaningful space for healing.
He discusses the deeper roots of Thanksgiving, going back to Lincoln’s proclamation, and challenges the myths many of us were raised with. For Bill, gratitude is not a performance—it’s a call to presence, connection, and transformation. As a former educator, he also gives thoughtful advice on modeling meaningful rituals for children and finding unity beyond traditional narratives.
The Christmas tree essay is a gentle yet powerful meditation on memory, identity, and family. As Bill describes decorating a tree with his husband, old ornaments become vessels of past stories—both painful and comforting. In that act of co-creation, he offers a path for others to reclaim the holidays on their own terms.
Bill’s message is especially poignant for those in the LGBTQ+ community, or anyone feeling disconnected during the season. He speaks candidly about the isolation many queer people feel and how creating new rituals and chosen family can offer a sense of belonging.
Six to carry the casket and one to say the mass is more than a collection of essays—it’s a guide for navigating complex emotions with honesty, humor, and grace. If you’ve ever struggled to find your place during the holidays, this conversation with Bill Hulseman is one worth sitting with.
